Your Humanity Wasn't Designed for This

How to reclaim agency in a world designed to override it

For the first time in history, the time we spend in digital spaces rivals that spent in the physical world.

And yet, what makes us human—that phenomenon of being alive—is rooted in the physical: the feeling of sunlight on your skin during a morning walk, the warmth of a deep belly laugh with someone you love, the quiet stillness from time spent immersed in nature. If you’ve felt these moments becoming increasingly rare, it’s not just you, and it’s not by accident.

How did we get here?

To be crystal clear here, I am of course referring to the digitization of our world. What does it mean when the physical world is no longer the dominant context of our experience? On paper, this shift amounts to an average of 6-9+ hours of screen time a day,¹ conservatively translating to over five waking months a year. But beyond the numbers, what does this actually feel like in our everyday lives?

It’s not just about how much time we spend on screens—it’s about how that time reshapes the way we connect, the way we focus, the way we experience life itself. The texture of conversation changes when notifications fragment our attention. Our ability to sit with our emotions shifts when infinite content is always within reach. Our attention span shortens to the point that even beauty struggles to hold it. The digital world is not inherently the enemy, but when it begins to dominate our waking reality, what happens to the depth, presence, and richness that define our truly human, precious life?

These are the questions that will shape our future—along with this publication! But until tomorrow arrives, let’s touch upon why this is all the case to begin with, before we discuss what we can do about it.

Since our Cognitive Revolution as Homo Sapiens about 70,000 years ago, we have developed our psychological and social needs through the lens of the physical world. Finitude was—and still is—all around us and we had no choice but to adapt, e.g., bushes had limited berries, social bonds were essential to survive harsh seasons, there was no Trader Joe’s in your neighborhood. These constraints gave beauty and meaning to life's difficulties, precisely because they defined what it meant to live a good life—and still do.

But with the industrial revolution behind us, the digital revolution views these challenges in life—the ones that are intrinsic to our very humanity—as problems to be profited off of. The digital transcends the normative friction of our natural world, and offers solutions that are irresistible to market incentives…because…capitalism! As a result, our largest tech companies have strong incentives to integrate this digital paradigm into our day to day life, establishing unsettling cultural shifts along the way. For example, just think for a moment how radical it can seem for a youngish person to be entirely off social media today. Once again, this is not an accident, but an outcome by design.

As these digital “norms” evolve, they make us rely less upon our senses, and more upon our devices.² As we become increasingly disembodied from the physical, we simultaneously become increasingly reliant upon the digital. Examples of this phenomena include fitness trackers replacing bodily awareness, GPS-devices replacing spatial navigation, and texting replacing our ability to communicate. This can pave the way for an augmentation of our human experience that can quickly become questionably desirable.

Why Understanding Our Origins is Key

Now, before the depressive episode starts, let’s talk about the good news: we understand our evolutionary psychology quite well! So…why is this good news? It means we understand why we’re in this predicament to begin with. We have the tools to adapt our sense of humanity—what makes a good life so—to this rapidly shifting balance from physical to digital. Now, unless we plan to wait another 300,000 years for our brains to evolve alongside the internet, our best bet for a fulfilling life is to actively embrace what already makes us human.

But of course, therein lies the challenge. Our hardwired instincts—once critical to our survival—are impressively vulnerable in this new digital environment. The overwhelming success of the attention economy proves this point: our drives for connection, novelty, and validation are no match for our pocket supercomputers and the problematic apps that inhabit them. Though technology often works against our well-being, its promise isn’t lost. When designed to support rather than override our humanity, it still holds the potential to enhance our lives in profound ways. The time has come to direct it mindfully—with the proper wisdom it deserves—by design.

Building a Mindset for Agency

In order to direct our attention in this manner, a new foundation of knowledge and corresponding wisdom (AKA mindfulness) is required. This publication will have an abundance of deep dives into this challenge, but for the remainder of this issue, let’s begin by building a mental model³ for overcoming the evolutionary mismatch we find ourselves in—starting with creating a sense of Agency.

agency n.

The capacity, condition, or faculty of acting or of exerting power; the ability to initiate action, effect change, or influence outcomes.

Much of the digital landscape we navigate daily has been intentionally designed for the opposite of Agency. Features in our apps, like endless scrolling feeds, are intended for “unconscious” use, triggering primal cognitive biases⁴ and bypassing the reasoning portion of your mind. (If these ideas are new to you, consider this your introduction to the attention economy. TL;DR—your attention is the product, and it’s measured in engagement. I know.) For this week (and hopefully beyond), leverage your available mindfulness to take note of these moments:

• When do you notice yourself reaching for your phone not out of necessity, but out of habit—before your conscious mind even registers the impulse?

• When do you catch yourself unlocking your phone for one reason, only to slip into an automated behavior loop—original intention forgotten?

• When does picking up your phone feel less like a choice and more like an escape from discomfort, pressure, or resistance?

Of course, these are exceptionally common events now for nearly all of us. However, the way our devices proliferate these patterns are clear boundary violations of what I like to call your Attentional Autonomy. Recognizing these moments is the first step to reclaiming them. Mindfulness is the necessary tool to break these automated behaviors. For the subsequent steps, such as modifying your digital environment, be on the look out for future issues.

attentional autonomy n.

The capacity or right of an individual to direct and regulate their own attention, particularly within digital environments; the state of exercising conscious control over one’s focus, as opposed to having it externally manipulated or passively surrendered.

The final step in building this mental model, for today, is to begin to identify your Wisdom Gaps. Originally coined by the Center for Humane Technology, the Wisdom Gap⁵ describes the widening divide between the increasing complexity of problems and our decreasing capacity to make sense of them.

Start witnessing how this shows up in your daily life. The moment you realize you’ve fallen into yet another loop of unintended digital behavior, ask yourself:

1. Do I understand why this is happening?

2. If so, do I know what tools are available to minimize or prevent it?

3. And even if the answer is yes, do I have the bandwidth to actually implement them?

This gap—the space between awareness and action—is precisely where many of us get stuck.

If this all feels overwhelming, be at ease. Know that the overwhelm is not a sign of personal failure. It is the inevitable exhaustion of being connected to a system designed to keep us engaged. This is what the "decreasing capacity to respond" part of the Wisdom Gap looks and feels like. By taking these first steps to challenge the status quo, you begin opening yourself up to a reality that is not dictated by defaults, but instead designed with balance, intention, and boundaries that honor your finite human capacities. This is not about rejecting screens—it’s about reclaiming your right to choose how, when, and why you engage with them.

As you start filtering the world through this mental model, remember: this pursuit of Agency is a practice, not a perfect state. The goal is not to eliminate technology, nor is it to strive for rigid control over every digital interaction. The goal is to reclaim your ability to direct your attention toward what you value most—whether that means being fully present with the people you love, summoning the will to pursue your highest calling, creating more space for peace in your life, or the myriad of other options we are blessed to value as human beings.

As we begin to shape our digital world with the same intention as we do the physical world, we can finally restore the missing piece—our Attentional Autonomy—and direct it not just toward well-being, but toward a life truly well-lived.

An Experiment for You

On a day of your choosing, place your phone—and any other tempting device with a screen—in a drawer for a minimum of three hours. Commit to not referencing a screen for any reason during that time. Observe what arises for you, and let me know how it goes!

So go ahead, look at your calendar, right now, and block this time off. Leverage the newfound knowledge and awareness from this read to be aware of the impulse to become distracted along the way.

Sneak Peek of Future Issues

This was the very first issue of Mindful by Design! Let me know what you thought in the comments on Substack, or just hit reply! Here are some topics you can expect to be arriving in your mailbox in the very near future, subscribe if you haven’t done so already to never miss the next piece of crucial wisdom.

• Increasing cognitive, emotional, and energetic bandwidth in our digital world

• Tailoring your personal digital ecosystem for greater well-being

• Learning how designers exploit your attention, and how to use those same tools to reclaim it

…and much, much more.

1. “Digital 2024 Global Overview Report.” An expansive look at global screen time, mobile usage, and internet behavior. https://datareportal.com/reports/digital-2024-global-overview-report

2. “Sensory Disruption in Modern Living and the Emergence of Sensory Inequities.” A research article exploring how modern environments overwhelm the senses. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5872642/

3. “Mental Models” by Anne-Laure Le Cunff of Ness Labs—a fantastic primer on building clarity of thought. https://nesslabs.com/mental-models

4. Cognitive Bias Codex. A comprehensive visual guide to the hundreds of known mental shortcuts our brains take. https://www.designhacks.co/products/cognitive-bias-codex-poster

5. “The Wisdom Gap” by the Center for Humane Technology. A concise overview of how complexity is outpacing our capacity to respond. https://www.humanetech.com/insights/the-wisdom-gap